Probably crickets. If you call one cricket "food" but some cultures do. Not that it was disguesting. Tasted like beef jerky actually... its just freaky putting a cricket in my own mouth. No matter how dead the cricket is or how many people and animals eat how many crickets on a daily occasion. I did it, so that's that.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
What was your favorite TV show as a child?
I really liked barney when I was a little child. When I got older I adored jimmy neutron.
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Sophia/Stacey story Pt5
"Hey Angel." A male's sing-song voice came out of nowhere, as he swept down and planted a kiss on Stacey's cheek.
"Hey Cade." Stacey said snapping her head up and nestling her head against his side. Her boyfriend, Cade came around her chair and sat down next to her. He was just slightly taller than Stacey was, with shaggy dirty-blonde hair. He was muscular, but not overly so. He wore glasses that were rimless, and never quit smiling his gorgeous, should-be-on-the-runway smile.
"Whatcha doin?"
"Reading Sophia's vampire book. I can't explain it, but I just felt like I needed to." Stacey closed the book and put it on the desk in front of her. She hadn't gotten around to reading the list Sophia had written, but thought that she could definitely use a break. Besides, it would take some concentration to decipher Sophia's handwriting, much less its meaning.
"She's not trying to convert you now that she's dead, is she?"
"I haven't seen or heard from her since the night before when she told me good night. And I pray that I won't hear from her again..."
"You won't. She's dead. You saw to that." Cade teased her with a twinkle in his eye.
"That's not funny Cade, you know I did no such thing."
Cade put his arm around Stacey comfortingly. "I know. I'm sorry. Still... you gotta admit out of all the way that one might die... she picked an odd way to leave."
"Yea... but I don't think that it counted as suicide, or even assisted suicide..." Stacey let her voice drift off at the end of the sentence, afraid to say what she was postulating in her head.
"What is it, love?"
"She wasn't interested in ending her life... and she was intelligent. I don't think she'd end her life- or make me do it for her, if she wasn't sure about the fact that it wouldn't actually end. I think... maybe she's not dead. At least, not as dead as the police say."
"What do you mean? You said she was dead by the time you got out of bed."
"Well she sure as heck looked dead and all vital signs were gone."
"So what are you saying?"
Stacey looked all around her, as if expecting to see Officer Maples or Detective Shorts following her. Or anyone else for that matter. Then she lowered her voice, leaning closer to Cade and looking directly into his eyes. A speck of fear was in her eyes, and she could not only feel it, but see its reflection in her reflection in Cade's eye. "I'm not sure. That's why I needed this book. The authorities wont care because to them its all superstitious fiction. They care about why and how she died, not any possibility of if she's really gone. But... I'll have to read this book... but her fortune cookie that day said 'Tonight is a night of new beginnings.'"
"Since when do you put any stock into fortune cookies?"
"I don't. But she did. I think... I think she's still here somehow. I think she's going to try, and probably succeed at, coming back as a vampire. An immortal creature. Free of all earthly needs and desires, minus the need of blood."
"You're serious. You not only think she is going to try to come back, but that she can?" Cade asked, looking at Stacey with deep concern in his eyes.
"I know she will try to come back. And while I do not know what this says about my belief- or lack thereof- of vampires, I think she will come back. This book says that much. There are supposed to be five accounts written by true vampires, all at different stages of vampirism, in this book."
"So someone wanted to make a little extra money. Nonfiction about subjects that are not supposed to exist sells more than a fiction book about things that do not exist."
"Look at this book." Stacey said, scooting the book over to Cade. "Really look at it. This book is weird. It has no authors listed, the publisher is Lilith Upir. There's no year copyright date, no address of the publisher. Yet it's a legit book. I mean, it's been published and has a decent binding and everything."
Cade picked up the book and inspected it for himself. "Well you are right about all the above. And there's not even a barcode anywhere. I think I'm going to go and look up the publisher and the title and see what I can find on the internet." Cade said, kissing Stacey's forehead as he got up. "I'll be right back."
Once Cade had gone Stacey once again opened up the book. She read through the list of "what makes great psyche strength", and was surprised when the list was oddly similar to the Christian ten commandments, only instead of "no other gods" or any of the early commandments that mentioned honoring god and the sabbath, they had said to have a through understanding of all the psychic, paranormal, and supernatural principles and concepts. 'Well,' Stacey thought to herself, 'If anyone has 'a through understanding of all the psychic, paranormal and supernatural principles and concepts' it was Sophie.' Another 'how to have a strong psyche' principle was to honor each day and waste none of your given time as a human. It seemed that by reading that list, Stacey was defining Sophia.
Having finished the list, Stacey went back to reading the text of the book itself. The book went on and on giving a through history of 'real' vampires, and explaining how each popular myth both today, and myths from far in the past, came to be. It appeared that the book, and it's writer or writers, had no desire to tell just anyone reading the first few pages how one does become a vampire. The one sentence about having great psyche strength was the only mention of what it takes to be a vampire. However, as she did not know exactly how long a newly deceased person had before they could come back, or had to come back, or whatever it took, she took no risks in missing information and read all the text, and all annotations made by Sophia.
Stacey had finished chapter one, throughly overwhelmed by all of the misconceptions the book had detailed. Chapter one itself was thirty-five, small-printed, pages long. "Ok. So I looked up the title Vampires and Immortality- Dwellers of The Everlasting Night, and at first I got no results." Cade said, sitting back down at the table.
"Big surprise there."
"Hey! Don't discredit me yet. I said at first. Turns out new age and wiccans and all of that sort of people are highly secretive. And by the way, it's not just for their safety. I don't know if you know this, but new agers and wiccans are all huge on the environment"
"Yea. Sophie was ridiculous about it. Vegan, biked everywhere she couldn't walk, and refused to eat any fruits and vegetables that were bought at a grocery store."
"Not surprising from what I was reading. Anyways, they feel that if their secret got out, and other humans not in the belief systems, then everyone would try for immortality and having everyone on earth live forever is not environmentally friendly." Stacey laughed at this. "So at first I got no results. But then I just searched "Vampires and Immortality" and I came across this one guy's blog. And he was all into wicca and was a part of a coven and was talking about how he had finally managed to get ahold of this book. Apparently it's a very rare book, with about 100 copies made. It gets passed around covens once the members have shown their loyalty and that they will keep the secret." "So the publisher?"
"It's an illusion to the ancient past. Lilith is a demon that lived off of the blood of babies. Upir is the slavic word for vampire. Both are long forgotten by almost anybody in modern times. From what I gather, the book was first made back when those names were commonly known."
"Has it been reprinted?"
"Not from what I could tell. The first vampires to put the book together made one hundred copies and from then on they just got passed around a lot. I have not ever seen any other copies, but my guess would be that all of the books are in such great condition. It's part of their mystique. They are considered like the equivalent of holy objects within those who believe."
"You don't think that an actual vampire gave this to Sophia."
Cade scrunched up his nose. "I doubt it. First of all, regardless how peculiar this book is and the fact that Sophie had it, I still don't think that living beings can return to life. Or do whatever it is that happens when one becomes a vampire."
"I don't know what to think..." Stacey trailed off.
"Why don't you put the book down for a while and we can go grab something to eat. What sounds good to you?"
"Chicken!" Stacey said smiling.
"Fried chicken it is then! Why am I not surprised."
"I like chicken."
"I know. Come on, let's go. You can return to your mystical studies later.
"Hey Cade." Stacey said snapping her head up and nestling her head against his side. Her boyfriend, Cade came around her chair and sat down next to her. He was just slightly taller than Stacey was, with shaggy dirty-blonde hair. He was muscular, but not overly so. He wore glasses that were rimless, and never quit smiling his gorgeous, should-be-on-the-runway smile.
"Whatcha doin?"
"Reading Sophia's vampire book. I can't explain it, but I just felt like I needed to." Stacey closed the book and put it on the desk in front of her. She hadn't gotten around to reading the list Sophia had written, but thought that she could definitely use a break. Besides, it would take some concentration to decipher Sophia's handwriting, much less its meaning.
"She's not trying to convert you now that she's dead, is she?"
"I haven't seen or heard from her since the night before when she told me good night. And I pray that I won't hear from her again..."
"You won't. She's dead. You saw to that." Cade teased her with a twinkle in his eye.
"That's not funny Cade, you know I did no such thing."
Cade put his arm around Stacey comfortingly. "I know. I'm sorry. Still... you gotta admit out of all the way that one might die... she picked an odd way to leave."
"Yea... but I don't think that it counted as suicide, or even assisted suicide..." Stacey let her voice drift off at the end of the sentence, afraid to say what she was postulating in her head.
"What is it, love?"
"She wasn't interested in ending her life... and she was intelligent. I don't think she'd end her life- or make me do it for her, if she wasn't sure about the fact that it wouldn't actually end. I think... maybe she's not dead. At least, not as dead as the police say."
"What do you mean? You said she was dead by the time you got out of bed."
"Well she sure as heck looked dead and all vital signs were gone."
"So what are you saying?"
Stacey looked all around her, as if expecting to see Officer Maples or Detective Shorts following her. Or anyone else for that matter. Then she lowered her voice, leaning closer to Cade and looking directly into his eyes. A speck of fear was in her eyes, and she could not only feel it, but see its reflection in her reflection in Cade's eye. "I'm not sure. That's why I needed this book. The authorities wont care because to them its all superstitious fiction. They care about why and how she died, not any possibility of if she's really gone. But... I'll have to read this book... but her fortune cookie that day said 'Tonight is a night of new beginnings.'"
"Since when do you put any stock into fortune cookies?"
"I don't. But she did. I think... I think she's still here somehow. I think she's going to try, and probably succeed at, coming back as a vampire. An immortal creature. Free of all earthly needs and desires, minus the need of blood."
"You're serious. You not only think she is going to try to come back, but that she can?" Cade asked, looking at Stacey with deep concern in his eyes.
"I know she will try to come back. And while I do not know what this says about my belief- or lack thereof- of vampires, I think she will come back. This book says that much. There are supposed to be five accounts written by true vampires, all at different stages of vampirism, in this book."
"So someone wanted to make a little extra money. Nonfiction about subjects that are not supposed to exist sells more than a fiction book about things that do not exist."
"Look at this book." Stacey said, scooting the book over to Cade. "Really look at it. This book is weird. It has no authors listed, the publisher is Lilith Upir. There's no year copyright date, no address of the publisher. Yet it's a legit book. I mean, it's been published and has a decent binding and everything."
Cade picked up the book and inspected it for himself. "Well you are right about all the above. And there's not even a barcode anywhere. I think I'm going to go and look up the publisher and the title and see what I can find on the internet." Cade said, kissing Stacey's forehead as he got up. "I'll be right back."
Once Cade had gone Stacey once again opened up the book. She read through the list of "what makes great psyche strength", and was surprised when the list was oddly similar to the Christian ten commandments, only instead of "no other gods" or any of the early commandments that mentioned honoring god and the sabbath, they had said to have a through understanding of all the psychic, paranormal, and supernatural principles and concepts. 'Well,' Stacey thought to herself, 'If anyone has 'a through understanding of all the psychic, paranormal and supernatural principles and concepts' it was Sophie.' Another 'how to have a strong psyche' principle was to honor each day and waste none of your given time as a human. It seemed that by reading that list, Stacey was defining Sophia.
Having finished the list, Stacey went back to reading the text of the book itself. The book went on and on giving a through history of 'real' vampires, and explaining how each popular myth both today, and myths from far in the past, came to be. It appeared that the book, and it's writer or writers, had no desire to tell just anyone reading the first few pages how one does become a vampire. The one sentence about having great psyche strength was the only mention of what it takes to be a vampire. However, as she did not know exactly how long a newly deceased person had before they could come back, or had to come back, or whatever it took, she took no risks in missing information and read all the text, and all annotations made by Sophia.
Stacey had finished chapter one, throughly overwhelmed by all of the misconceptions the book had detailed. Chapter one itself was thirty-five, small-printed, pages long. "Ok. So I looked up the title Vampires and Immortality- Dwellers of The Everlasting Night, and at first I got no results." Cade said, sitting back down at the table.
"Big surprise there."
"Hey! Don't discredit me yet. I said at first. Turns out new age and wiccans and all of that sort of people are highly secretive. And by the way, it's not just for their safety. I don't know if you know this, but new agers and wiccans are all huge on the environment"
"Yea. Sophie was ridiculous about it. Vegan, biked everywhere she couldn't walk, and refused to eat any fruits and vegetables that were bought at a grocery store."
"Not surprising from what I was reading. Anyways, they feel that if their secret got out, and other humans not in the belief systems, then everyone would try for immortality and having everyone on earth live forever is not environmentally friendly." Stacey laughed at this. "So at first I got no results. But then I just searched "Vampires and Immortality" and I came across this one guy's blog. And he was all into wicca and was a part of a coven and was talking about how he had finally managed to get ahold of this book. Apparently it's a very rare book, with about 100 copies made. It gets passed around covens once the members have shown their loyalty and that they will keep the secret." "So the publisher?"
"It's an illusion to the ancient past. Lilith is a demon that lived off of the blood of babies. Upir is the slavic word for vampire. Both are long forgotten by almost anybody in modern times. From what I gather, the book was first made back when those names were commonly known."
"Has it been reprinted?"
"Not from what I could tell. The first vampires to put the book together made one hundred copies and from then on they just got passed around a lot. I have not ever seen any other copies, but my guess would be that all of the books are in such great condition. It's part of their mystique. They are considered like the equivalent of holy objects within those who believe."
"You don't think that an actual vampire gave this to Sophia."
Cade scrunched up his nose. "I doubt it. First of all, regardless how peculiar this book is and the fact that Sophie had it, I still don't think that living beings can return to life. Or do whatever it is that happens when one becomes a vampire."
"I don't know what to think..." Stacey trailed off.
"Why don't you put the book down for a while and we can go grab something to eat. What sounds good to you?"
"Chicken!" Stacey said smiling.
"Fried chicken it is then! Why am I not surprised."
"I like chicken."
"I know. Come on, let's go. You can return to your mystical studies later.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Sophia/Stacey story Pt4
"Do you know any of her coven members?"
"Not really. I tried to stay away from them. Some of them are kind of creepy. Sophie was normal enough to not freak me out... but something about her coven members gave me the creeps."
"Well thank you for your time Ms. Gallimore. I'll just head back over to the scene and poke around some more."
Stacey nodded, pursing her lips together. "Can I stop in there, Officer Shorts?"
"As it is your room as well, you do have the right to come and go as needed, though we would prefer you to not stay there longer than necessary. But feel free to go and collect your books or anything else you may need or want. Nobody else will be allowed to come in with you though, of course."
Stacey nodded her head again. "Great." She stood up and walked with Officer Maples and Officer Shorts to the door. Once the officers had left, she turned to her backpack and got dressed for the day. Then she headed back across the street to her apartment to grab the book that Sophie was reading the night before. Then she headed to the campus library for some peace and quiet reading.
She turned over "Vampires and Immortality- Dwellers of The Everlasting Night." As with all of Sophia's books, Vampires and Immortality was in perfect condition on the outside. Stacey read down the blurb on the back cover.
Misconceptions about the everlasting night dwellers are everywhere
in the human world. Stories of eroticism and mystique, glamor and
crime that feature vampires as a main character are everywhere. But
what is the truth? Vampirism is so much more then glittery sex-appeal,
it is immortality, at the cost of never needing food or any other
need again, just blood. Follow the lives, or afterlives to be more precise,
of five different beings, these creatures of the night, all at different
stages, and see if you think that you are one of the few homo sapians who were born to become a Dweller of the Everlasting Night.
Feeling slightly intrigued and amused, Stacey opened up the book and began to read chapter one, The Truth About Vampires. It was not an easy read, firstly because it kept going back and forth between what was 'true' about vampires and what was 'false and myth' concerning vampires. The fact that Sophia loved to write in books did not help Stacey read the text, but she did gain some insight into the notes scribbled into the margins. One passage, that was talking about what a vampire is and how one is created, had a good five paragraphs stating all of the "fictional" ways that vampires are "created".
"Although it may seem that the fictional tale of being 'born' a vampire
is true, it's not. Vampires are creatures of eternal being, and as such,
never change. As much as a child may try and tell their mother that they
need to drink blood, this is simply fiction."
"Another vampire cannot make another vampire. The choice to be a vampire
must lie with the individual, and is a gift only given to the worthy. Only humans who show great psyche strength even have the possibility of becoming a vampire."
Following the last paragraph was a note scribbled in Sophia's handwriting. "Great psyche strength is..."
"Not really. I tried to stay away from them. Some of them are kind of creepy. Sophie was normal enough to not freak me out... but something about her coven members gave me the creeps."
"Well thank you for your time Ms. Gallimore. I'll just head back over to the scene and poke around some more."
Stacey nodded, pursing her lips together. "Can I stop in there, Officer Shorts?"
"As it is your room as well, you do have the right to come and go as needed, though we would prefer you to not stay there longer than necessary. But feel free to go and collect your books or anything else you may need or want. Nobody else will be allowed to come in with you though, of course."
Stacey nodded her head again. "Great." She stood up and walked with Officer Maples and Officer Shorts to the door. Once the officers had left, she turned to her backpack and got dressed for the day. Then she headed back across the street to her apartment to grab the book that Sophie was reading the night before. Then she headed to the campus library for some peace and quiet reading.
She turned over "Vampires and Immortality- Dwellers of The Everlasting Night." As with all of Sophia's books, Vampires and Immortality was in perfect condition on the outside. Stacey read down the blurb on the back cover.
Misconceptions about the everlasting night dwellers are everywhere
in the human world. Stories of eroticism and mystique, glamor and
crime that feature vampires as a main character are everywhere. But
what is the truth? Vampirism is so much more then glittery sex-appeal,
it is immortality, at the cost of never needing food or any other
need again, just blood. Follow the lives, or afterlives to be more precise,
of five different beings, these creatures of the night, all at different
stages, and see if you think that you are one of the few homo sapians who were born to become a Dweller of the Everlasting Night.
Feeling slightly intrigued and amused, Stacey opened up the book and began to read chapter one, The Truth About Vampires. It was not an easy read, firstly because it kept going back and forth between what was 'true' about vampires and what was 'false and myth' concerning vampires. The fact that Sophia loved to write in books did not help Stacey read the text, but she did gain some insight into the notes scribbled into the margins. One passage, that was talking about what a vampire is and how one is created, had a good five paragraphs stating all of the "fictional" ways that vampires are "created".
"Although it may seem that the fictional tale of being 'born' a vampire
is true, it's not. Vampires are creatures of eternal being, and as such,
never change. As much as a child may try and tell their mother that they
need to drink blood, this is simply fiction."
"Another vampire cannot make another vampire. The choice to be a vampire
must lie with the individual, and is a gift only given to the worthy. Only humans who show great psyche strength even have the possibility of becoming a vampire."
Following the last paragraph was a note scribbled in Sophia's handwriting. "Great psyche strength is..."
Clumsy Girl pt 2
After the chicken I went to sleep. What else is one supposed to do while stuck in a hospital room. I also have suspicions that the hospital staff was feeding me sleep-inducing drugs through my IV because I normally don't just nod off like that. Next thing I knew someone was holding my hand and kissed it.
"She's asleep Kevin, and we don't want to wake her up. Rest means she heals faster. I'll tell her you stopped by."
"Mrs. G, I'm fine. I'll just sit here next to Aimus here." Kevin's smooth voice replied. "Besides, nobody else is home. I can stay a while."
"Visiting hours end at eight o' clock." My mom replied, leaving out the fact that she had talked the doctors and nurses into letting her and Aim stay constantly. "I know, Becky, you told me yesterday, remember? Has she woken up at all yet? It's been three days."
"She woke up earlier around 2. Had a check-up and some chicken and went back to sleep." Aim said as I heard him scoot over on the bench to give Kevin some room.
"Kev?" My voice was weak and groggy, but I managed to get it to work. "Kevin?"
"Yes dear, I'm here."
"How was work?"
"Same as always if you can believe that. Nobody tips anymore. No money to tip really, still sucks. How's my girl?"
"Fell... though as you were already here I'm sure Aim's shown you all the gory pictures."
"... Not really..." I glared at Aim in the light of this news.
"I'm going to go and see what's in the gift shop. Looks like Dex is doing all right for now." Aim said, looking down at the ground and to my mother, and then quickly leaving the area.
"Dex, why did you look at him like that?"
"Like what?" I asked innocently.
My mother pounded her hand into her palm and sighed. "I've got to have a cigarette, I'll be back. It.... looks like you're in... good care." My mother said reluctantly.
"I'll be fine. Not like I'm going to run away."
"That much is for certain. Try and get some rest." Then she turned to Kevin, "and don't you go and get her all riled up. She does need her rest." Then, without giving Kevin or me a chance to reply, she had left the room.
"They love you so much." I joked, gesturing with my eyes that I needed his help sitting up. Kevin reached behind me an lifted me up, letting me sit up a little more.
"Don't I know it. I take it you didn't know I had been here at all?"
"Aim said you were coming... nobody said anything about you already have being here."
"Well I was, soon as Aim contacted me. I'll give him that, he may see me as the opposition, but he did call me. You should have seen the look on your mom's face when I walked into the hospital room. It could not have been clearer that she was hoping to get you in and out of here without my knowing a thing about it."
"Would you stop it with this silly "Aim thinks I'm opposition" crap. He's my best friend. Always has been, and always will be. That's it. And he knows it. He just... doesn't get why I like you is all."
"Dex, you can't be that blind. He's crazy about you. Think of how many pictures he has of you."
"He's into photography and I have no life when you're working. That fact alone means that I'm a sitting model, just dying to be twisted and pulled to make his next greatest photograph."
"Ployboy model." Aim said laughing.
"I'm fully clothed in every picture."
"Bet you were not as covered in the pics he got of your fall."
"Oh yes, bloody arms and legs and heads are such a turn on." "You'd be surprised about all the weird fetishes out there. Anyways, as I have very little chance of seeing the pictures till Aim gets them on Facebook... how bad are they?"
"There's one that looks almost heavenly. It's when I first started falling. My arms are all stretched out, you know how I place them when I realize I'm falling. They are in that position and the camera angle was just so that you couldn't see the stairs, but you could see my feet and legs and they were tilting forwards. My face looks blank, somewhere between a scream of horror and a smile. So altogether it looks as though I'm falling peacefully."
"Sounds creepy Dex. Like something out of a horror film."
"It reminded me of Katie Bell in Harry Potter actually."
"Like I said, freaky."
"And there's another photo after I'd been falling a bit where it looks like I'm doing some kind of weird limp handstand on the stairs. My head in on a stair, slightly at a not-natural angle, but you can't tell all that much. My feet are above my head directly, but they are limp and dropping. My hands appear to be holding me up, though I"m certain they just landed on the ground first."
"Any other cool ones? I mean, if you can count photos of you scraping yourself up cool."
"Not really. Just a lot of really not-normal body positions till I'm finally on the lower-level landing. I look dead in that one. My head is all turned to one side, one arm across my chest the other twisted oddly above my head. The one arm that was twisted, you can see a red stump, which from what I've been told was the bone in my elbow, all covered with blood. What you can see of my face is all scratched up and bloodied too. My jeans miraculously were not torn, but they also had drops of blood here and there on them. I was passed out at that point."
"Dang Dex. I'm going to forbid you to go near any stairs for the rest of your life..." Kevin said, brushing my overgrown bangs out of my face. "I'll let you go to college, provided you get a ground-level dorm room and only take classes located on ground level, then I'll marry you and buy a one-level house in which you will clean and raise our kids, all without going by any stairs."
I laughed. "Seriously Kev, I'm the world's clumsiest person. Even if I never saw another stair again, when I'm cooking I have to deal with boiling grease, knives, forks, hot stoves..."
"Then you can't cook! I'll get us our own personal chef!"
"Then I'm sure I will still have to go out to buy stuff, in which case I'll be driving a car, with an untold number of other cars also running here and there, not to mention there's a "step" to get into the car..."
"You know what Dex, I figured it out. You will just be on bed rest for life."
"Kevin! I don't think I can even stand this week. It's only day three."
"You've been passed out for two days."
"Joyous. So the whole one day I've been awake has been an eternity." I sighed. If Kevin had his way this was just the beginning.
"I'll keep you entertained. And I can get you all the pizza you want."
"She's asleep Kevin, and we don't want to wake her up. Rest means she heals faster. I'll tell her you stopped by."
"Mrs. G, I'm fine. I'll just sit here next to Aimus here." Kevin's smooth voice replied. "Besides, nobody else is home. I can stay a while."
"Visiting hours end at eight o' clock." My mom replied, leaving out the fact that she had talked the doctors and nurses into letting her and Aim stay constantly. "I know, Becky, you told me yesterday, remember? Has she woken up at all yet? It's been three days."
"She woke up earlier around 2. Had a check-up and some chicken and went back to sleep." Aim said as I heard him scoot over on the bench to give Kevin some room.
"Kev?" My voice was weak and groggy, but I managed to get it to work. "Kevin?"
"Yes dear, I'm here."
"How was work?"
"Same as always if you can believe that. Nobody tips anymore. No money to tip really, still sucks. How's my girl?"
"Fell... though as you were already here I'm sure Aim's shown you all the gory pictures."
"... Not really..." I glared at Aim in the light of this news.
"I'm going to go and see what's in the gift shop. Looks like Dex is doing all right for now." Aim said, looking down at the ground and to my mother, and then quickly leaving the area.
"Dex, why did you look at him like that?"
"Like what?" I asked innocently.
My mother pounded her hand into her palm and sighed. "I've got to have a cigarette, I'll be back. It.... looks like you're in... good care." My mother said reluctantly.
"I'll be fine. Not like I'm going to run away."
"That much is for certain. Try and get some rest." Then she turned to Kevin, "and don't you go and get her all riled up. She does need her rest." Then, without giving Kevin or me a chance to reply, she had left the room.
"They love you so much." I joked, gesturing with my eyes that I needed his help sitting up. Kevin reached behind me an lifted me up, letting me sit up a little more.
"Don't I know it. I take it you didn't know I had been here at all?"
"Aim said you were coming... nobody said anything about you already have being here."
"Well I was, soon as Aim contacted me. I'll give him that, he may see me as the opposition, but he did call me. You should have seen the look on your mom's face when I walked into the hospital room. It could not have been clearer that she was hoping to get you in and out of here without my knowing a thing about it."
"Would you stop it with this silly "Aim thinks I'm opposition" crap. He's my best friend. Always has been, and always will be. That's it. And he knows it. He just... doesn't get why I like you is all."
"Dex, you can't be that blind. He's crazy about you. Think of how many pictures he has of you."
"He's into photography and I have no life when you're working. That fact alone means that I'm a sitting model, just dying to be twisted and pulled to make his next greatest photograph."
"Ployboy model." Aim said laughing.
"I'm fully clothed in every picture."
"Bet you were not as covered in the pics he got of your fall."
"Oh yes, bloody arms and legs and heads are such a turn on." "You'd be surprised about all the weird fetishes out there. Anyways, as I have very little chance of seeing the pictures till Aim gets them on Facebook... how bad are they?"
"There's one that looks almost heavenly. It's when I first started falling. My arms are all stretched out, you know how I place them when I realize I'm falling. They are in that position and the camera angle was just so that you couldn't see the stairs, but you could see my feet and legs and they were tilting forwards. My face looks blank, somewhere between a scream of horror and a smile. So altogether it looks as though I'm falling peacefully."
"Sounds creepy Dex. Like something out of a horror film."
"It reminded me of Katie Bell in Harry Potter actually."
"Like I said, freaky."
"And there's another photo after I'd been falling a bit where it looks like I'm doing some kind of weird limp handstand on the stairs. My head in on a stair, slightly at a not-natural angle, but you can't tell all that much. My feet are above my head directly, but they are limp and dropping. My hands appear to be holding me up, though I"m certain they just landed on the ground first."
"Any other cool ones? I mean, if you can count photos of you scraping yourself up cool."
"Not really. Just a lot of really not-normal body positions till I'm finally on the lower-level landing. I look dead in that one. My head is all turned to one side, one arm across my chest the other twisted oddly above my head. The one arm that was twisted, you can see a red stump, which from what I've been told was the bone in my elbow, all covered with blood. What you can see of my face is all scratched up and bloodied too. My jeans miraculously were not torn, but they also had drops of blood here and there on them. I was passed out at that point."
"Dang Dex. I'm going to forbid you to go near any stairs for the rest of your life..." Kevin said, brushing my overgrown bangs out of my face. "I'll let you go to college, provided you get a ground-level dorm room and only take classes located on ground level, then I'll marry you and buy a one-level house in which you will clean and raise our kids, all without going by any stairs."
I laughed. "Seriously Kev, I'm the world's clumsiest person. Even if I never saw another stair again, when I'm cooking I have to deal with boiling grease, knives, forks, hot stoves..."
"Then you can't cook! I'll get us our own personal chef!"
"Then I'm sure I will still have to go out to buy stuff, in which case I'll be driving a car, with an untold number of other cars also running here and there, not to mention there's a "step" to get into the car..."
"You know what Dex, I figured it out. You will just be on bed rest for life."
"Kevin! I don't think I can even stand this week. It's only day three."
"You've been passed out for two days."
"Joyous. So the whole one day I've been awake has been an eternity." I sighed. If Kevin had his way this was just the beginning.
"I'll keep you entertained. And I can get you all the pizza you want."
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
January Story- Clumsy Girl
I'm the world's clumsiest person. I'm not kidding you, my best friend, Aim, actually called up Guinness World Records when we were 13 and submitted me as world's clumsiest person. Aim had bought a camera without my knowledge and secretly filmed me for a straight 48 hours, in which time I managed to drop my school books, a plate I'd been putting away from the dishwasher, slice my finger while skinning potatoes, fell down the stairs carrying laundry, and had no less than fifteen other various slips and trips. The Guinness' people laughed a while at the tape, and then proudly handed over a certificate which confirmed that I was, at least for a year, the world's clumsiest person. I'm not sure, but I think I still hold the record.
I am proud of my title though. I mean, how many teenagers can say they've earned a spot in the world records book? And while I may be clumsy, I am blessed enough to say that my clumsiness has never once caused me to break a bone or fracture an ankle or anything of the sort. I've never once been to the hospital, or even the doctors because of my clumsiness. Quite an accomplishment as I'm about to turn nineteen. At least, that's what I was thinking about when Aim asked if I wanted to spend a day at the local park with him. Well, ok, I wasn't thinking about how lucky I was to have never landed myself in the hospital, but I was quite focused on the fact that my time as an eighteen year old was about to expire.
I hold fast to the belief that certain ages are magical. At five you start school, at ten you get your first boyfriend, at thirteen you start wearing makeup and get to go to the middle school dances, at sixteen you get your first "serious" boyfriend and eighteen you graduate and life really starts for you. The end of my eighteenth year, for me, meant that I was preparing to settle into three years of college and same-old same-old routine. The magic year was over. My next magic year would be twenty-one. Which at the moment seemed a long time ago. After discussing my small depression about turning nineteen, Aim said we should take a gabillion pictures so that I can keep some of my eighteenth year forever. Which is how I found myself dancing around stairs and running up and down hills without a care in the world, the day before I turned nineteen. Which, if you are intelligent, is not a smart situation for a girl who is the world's clumsiest human to find herself in.
We'd been in the park for about five hours when the inevitable happened- I fell. And I guess, since it was still a magical year, it was only to be expected that this wasn't a normal fall. Aim had been taking pictures of me atop a hill dancing, from the bottom of the staircase when we heard the ice cream man coming for his 3:30 stop in the park. Of course all the little kids clamored around, holding out dollar bills their parents had given them, and I got overly excited at the chance to do something completely childish like buying an ice cream cone from the ice cream man the day before I turned nineteen. So I turned to the stairs, which were less crowded than the grass-covered hill that was squirming with children, and started to run down them. I made it a full three stairs when my shoelace caught beneath my foot and tripped me. Unfortunately, as I was running, my body had worked up momentum and so down I went. I hit my head on the first stair, while I tried to stop, and kept tumbling down. I was knocked out by the time I hit the pavement at the end of the tall, two-story staircase.
I don't remember anything at all about passing out. All I know is that when I woke up only Aim and my mother were by my bedside, and there were IV cords stuck on my arms and an annoying beeping sound. Actually, all that hit my slightly after I regained consciousness, my first thought was that wherever I was, it smelled like sick. Not throw-up sick, but the kind of sickness that is 'smelt' inside any given room in a hospital. It's like the smell is inside of the walls. The next immediate thing I realized was that I wasn't able to move my arms, and that in fact my left arm was being held in what felt a lot like a cast. Then I opened my eyes to see my mother, and what else but Aim with his camera in hand.
"Dex, you OK?" It was Aim that spoke first.
"Well... I never thought I'd find myself here..," I said, looking around at the sickingly white, plain walls.
"You fell down good..." Aim said grimly, but then I saw a grin spread across his face, "wanna see the pictures?"
I laughed. It was so like Aim to make sure and capture my first hospitalizable fall in pictures. "Maybe later." I said, not sure I was quite ready to see what exactly my body looked like falling bad enough to cause this.
"I better go and fetch your doctor." My mother said. No doubt later when we were alone I'd get some sort of lecture about how I should watch where I'm going. She got up and left the room.
"So is it my birthday yet?" I asked Aim.
"Um... you've been out about 36 hours." Aim said, shifting his eyes to look anywhere but at me.
"Thirty-six hours?" I said, making sure there was no sign of emotion in my voice.
"Thiry-six hours." Aim confirmed.
I tried to grin, "I suppose you took hour by hour pictures?"
"Close. Your mother got annoyed at me... so I took them whenever she went to the bathroom or to get a drink."
"Hello Dextra! Nice to see you've joined the conscious world! How are you feeling."
My doctor was a young man, surely not even thirty years old. And honestly not bad looking. I felt like I should sit up, like they do after surgery in the movies... but my arm being in a cast hindered that idea slightly. "I'm doing ok. No pain. How bad is this arm anyways?"
"Well you fractured your elbow pretty severely. When you got in here I could actually see the bone, so we had to do a bit of a skin draft, and some of your nerves may be damaged. We'll have to wait to see, but I don't think there will be any permanent damage. We expect you will be out of here in about a week."
"A week?" I said, confused.
"Well, your face took a bit of a hit too. Those skin drafts need to be watched more if you don't want permanent scarring, so you'll stay here a week for those to heal. Now it appears that you are functioning fine, but let's go over a few questions."
It took all of my self-restraint not to roll my eyes. Here comes those idiotic questions about what is my name and phone number and address and who is the president and any other question anyone with any memory at all knows the answer to.
"How many fingers am I holding up?" He asked, holding up his index and middle finger.
I sighed. "Two."
"What's your name?"
Another sigh. "Dextra Ann Groston."
"How old are you?"
"Well according to Aim I'm nineteen. I guess I missed my birthday." I grumbled.
"The president of the United States?"
"Obama."
"First name?"
"... I'm not sure." This made me upset. I just could not think of our president's first name. Which meant that some of my memory apparently had suffered.
"You mother's full name?"
"Rebecka Groston."
"Middle name?"
"Can't remember."
"Before you woke up here what's the last thing you remember?"
"Ice cream. I wanted an ice cream cone from the ice cream man at the park."
"How did you get hurt?"
"I'm not sure. Probably some sort of fall. I'm the world's clumsiest person."
My doctor actually laughed at me. "We all have our moments. I'm sure you aren't _that_ bad."
"No, really. Look it up. She has the world record as the clumsiest person in the world, I submitted her for it 6 years ago!" Aim said proudly, it looked like it was taking everything he had not to laugh.
"Well then, I guess you aren't a stranger to falls and broken bones."
"Actually... this is a first. Never been hospitalized."
"Well it's all very basic. Although your skin took a big hit, your elbow was just fractured a little bit, so you'll keep this cast on for 3 weeks. Our nurses will help you bathe and by the time you leave this hospital you'll be able to continue most of your normal life with the cast... though I'd advise against all the tripping and falling."
I think- I hope- that was his idea of humor. As if I ever _meant_ to fall. "It does appear that your memory has been messed with. Nothing too serious, just miscellaneous information that will no doubt come back as you heal."
I nodded. It annoyed me that I couldn't remember my mothers middle name, but I suppose it'a not as bad as if I was the mom and I forgot my kid's middle name. My doctor got up to leave just as Mom came back in the room. "How is she?"
He turned around and smiled at my mother. "She's fine. I was just telling her what we told you about her staying here a couple weeks and checking up on her now that she's gain consciousness. Her memory isn't perfect but it's nothing that is cause for concern. I'd actually be more concerned if her memory was perfect. Usually that means that something deeper in the brain was messed up and we don't find out for while, until she starts to walk around and continue her normal life. So all looks well. I'll be back to check on her in a few hours. If you need anything, buzz the nurses." And with that, he actually finally left.
"I've said it before, we're in great shape with him as our doctor." Aim said sarcastically.
"Aimus!" My mother snapped at him, "Doctor Bernard is doing all he can."
"Yea, I'm sure." Again, his voice was loaded down with sarcasm. "It's just that when we got her here, his first observation was not that she was passed out, or even bleeding, but that her arm appeared to be broken." I laughed upon hearing this. Leave it to me to get the new doctor.
"Are you feeling ok?" My mother asked, not commenting on Aim's last statement.
"I feel great. Minus the fact that I can't move my arm. That's honestly just weird."
"Don't worry, Dex, I updated your twitter and facebook statuses for you. I also sent I message to Kevin for you, he said that he'll stop by later today." I grinned to myself. Aim was such an awesome friend.
"Kevin is coming by?" Mom asked.
"Yup. After he gets off work. Pizza Hut called him in for deliveries last minute.
"Well... that's nice of him."
"What's there to eat?" I asked, trying to change the subject. Mom never even gave Kevin a chance, my whole life she's been convinced that I'm going to marry Aim. Which is why she puts up with him and treats him like part of the family. Still, Kevin and I have been together for a year and a half so hearing that he was stopping by was good news. The bad news was that I'm sure Aim had no intent of leaving and... like my mother, Aim didn't see eye-to-eye with Kevin. Though, thankfully, he did respect me enough to know Kevin meant lot to me.
"There's chicken in the cafeteria."
"Could you get that for me please?"
"You can buzz the nurses Dex." Mom said.
"I know... but you know I like ranch with my chicken, and I know you won't let them skimp on the chicken." She sighed, then left to get my chicken. I turned to Aim. "Ok, let's see those pictures."
Aim reached into his black backpack that he always kept with him and retrieved his camera. "Here." He turned it on to play-back mode. "This one is rather mild. You had just started to fall, and I caught this before you had hit your head." I looked into the camera. I could see what he meant by "I look good falling." You weren't yet able to tell I was about to hit my head, but I was falling towards the camera with my arms out to catch my fall, spread far enough to almost look like I was falling cause I knew the worst thing you can do is try to stick your arms out directly in front of you when falling. The ideal pose is to keep your arms folded into your body... but that always has freaked me out, so I comprimize by spreading my arms so as not to have them directly in front of me.
"Next." I said. He flipped to the next photo and gave me a play-by-play of what had happened. After I had hit my head he'd been worried and instead of snapping pictures had started yelling my name. When, however there was no reply, he decided to meet me where I stopped and tae as many pics as he could. The next few pictures were brutal. My head was tucked under me a lot, and my arms and legs alternating which was on the ground. One he got that looked like I was doing a rather limp headstand on the stairs. That one made me laugh. Finally I got to the last picture, the one at the end of my fall. I had been passed out, and most of my face was skinned, as well as my legs and arms. The fact that I had been wearing jeans helped my legs, but no such luck for my arms. I turned my head to face Aim. "You know, I should move to Alaska." I said, matter-of-factly.
Aim laughed. "There's still no national healthcare up there."
"I know... but I'm talking about all the layers of clothing I'd have to wear year-round. If I had a penguin-suit on, I'd hardly have scratched myself so much.Still would have to deal with this broken arm... but not all the messed up skin."
"You know, if we lived in Alaska, I'd never be able to get you to go to a park. 'It's too cold!" you'd say.
"I'd be used to it. Any more pictures?"
"Just one of you in the hospital bed all patched up and passed out." Aim flipped through them.
"I can't believe I missed my last 7 hours of being eighteen."
"Well... if it means that much to you, we can push your birthday forward 2 days. Happy nineteenth birthday Dexi! Guess what that means?"
"What?"
"In three years, you don't get to drink until you are technically 21 and two days old!"
"That's all for the best I suppose... surely I'll get knocked out for a week then."
"What? You gonna start spending all your birthdays in the hospital? You know, you have 207 bones to chose from when it comes to breaking them."
"Not every birthday... but I bet you anything all of the magical ones I will."
"You and your magic. Honestly, it's just a measure of the time you spent mindlessly going around the sun. Don't you feel good, you've made it an entire nineteen times around the sun!"
"Here you go Dex." Mom said handing me a tray with five chicken strips on it.
"Thanks Mom."
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